Also depends if you have VPN and 500+ Mbps Internet speeds. The R7800 CPU is ~60% more powerful, important for VPN and it uses a newer gen CPU which also runs cooler. Also it can hit 700+ throughout Mbps even if hardware NAT were not available such as in open source firmware. The R8500 with pseudo hardware nat disabled (ie due to traffic monitoring, QoS) takes a huge hit in throughput.
Other minor points of note R8500 won’t have proper wireless support in OpenWRT thanks to Broadcom and MU-MIMO implementation sucks on it, which can lead to a big decreased in performance (for MU clients) due to the Broadcom chipset. So disable MU-MIMO in the R8500. The R7800 as you mentioned has better GHz performance and importantly doesn’t run as hot (could be important depending on your environment).
Overall since you don’t use VPN or have ISP speeds over 400-500 Mbps, either should be fine. I only prefer the R7800 because it has much better 5Ghz performance in my usage environment, I don use VPN or have high ISP speeds to make use of the R7800’s full potential though.
Another thing is if you don’t mind installing OpenWRT you could get much better bufferbloat mitigation with SQM Piece of Cake QoS. Hnyman’s builds at the LEDE Project forums are pretty good.
The R7800’s stock os is actually based on an older version of OpenWRT with Netgear’s UI on it of course.