In my ADSL router Asus DSL-N55U, wi-fi mac addresses are in NVRAM's "wl0_maclist_x" field (for 2,4 ghz) and "wl1_maclist_x" field (for 5 ghz).
Use grep to search for your mac address inside nvram (for example try "nvram show | grep -i xx:xx:xx:xx:xx:xx", where xx is mac address - all found keys logically must include "maclist" string - mac address list is also on WakeOnLan list and DHCP list).
If you want to know what is the NVRAM key to change for disable/enable mac filtering via ssh, try to save a backup of all nvram (for example "nvram show > /tmp/nvram0.txt"), change mac filtering option in web admin page, and then save another backup of nvram (for example "nvram show > /tmp/nvram1.txt"), then get the difference using "diff" utility (if you have no "diff" utility, try to install it from optware/entware packages - in optware it is in "diffutils" package).
Be careful about mac filtering, take note that too many services are involved in wifi, so it is better to let web admin management disable/enable mac filtering (see syslog to know how web admin mgt operate when disables/enables mac filtering).