Ok, so I reset the router several times (to be sure) reinstalled the firmware, then another reset - this brought it back to factory settings - beamforming got turned off as well as a couple other settings were straightened out, however to my surprise, 5G was still not seen by any of my Apple devices, as it was switched by default to the 80MHz bandwidth.
I walked around the house with my iPad to see if 5G was available anywhere, it wasn't, not even in the basement, a foot from the router. When I went back upstairs, I walked by the 3G/4G/LTE signal booster form T-Mobile and just to try something new, I unplugged it from the wall socket and in an instant my 5G WiFi showed on my iPad.
I've had this booster for several months and it had never interfered with my WiFi, but apparently when something goes wrong with it, it can completely block 5G WiFi on 80MHz - if it is doing this to WiFi, what is it doing to me?
The funniest thing is that I bought the AC87R because all of a sudden 5G stopped working on my AC68U, now I know why - $250 and countless hours resetting, flashing firmware on the 68U, not including setting up and troubleshooting the AC87r later, I find that the gremlin lives in the signal booster.
Strangely enough, when I plugged the booster back ( and I checked, it is actually boosting my cell signal ) it is no longer interfering with my 5G WiFi on 80MHz, so when something goes temporarily wrong with it ( maybe someone might have a clue as to what that might be) it is capable of totally blocking WiFi. That is scary.
Now, my 3rd gen iPad seems to hold on to the 5G band, but my iPhone 6 constantly switches back to 2.4G, so I'm not sure if the workaround that is included in the latest firmware is working for everyone, it is not working for my phone. Anything I should do or try to possibly fix it?
Thanks again