Update from my original post #147: Talked to Asus support, they had me try a bunch of stuff on top of all the troubleshooting I already did, then said it's likely a hardware issue. Just exchanged with a new unit from a different Microcenter an hour away. Hooked everything up, started a new network from scratch, SAME ISSUE... I'm on a chat with Asus again and they just had me manually downgrade the firmware which didn't work, trying something else with the wireless settings now, although not super hopeful... Will update If/When I have a resolution or I abandon this product