I tried to disable almost everything to check if there was some kind of conflict.
Stopped VPN and Samba, commented out every line from post-mount and services-start, unplugged everything from USB, rebooted several times.
It doesn't matter.
The test script always fails for me. Sometimes as early as 17 iterations, sometimes goes to more than 3000. But eventually hangs.
I tried to plug my SSD drive back in and enable Samba and that just won't work anymore. As soon as I click Apply, the router begins to spawn zombie smbd processes which take 100% CPU. Starts with 1 that takes 100% of 1 core, then 2, now 100% of both cores and then 3 and 4 and so on...
I'm confused how did I manage to break it so badly.